2024 in Words

I don't have digital memories to show how my 2024 went, and I probably would've tuned it with a song and disappearing fonts. Then, I’d add my happiest moments, and someone out there would wish they were me, LOL. But let’s do this in words, shall we? Inspired by Hauwa’s latest newsletter.

I started 2024 without much thought of self-improvement or new year resolutions. I entered 2024 full of gratitude just for witnessing another year—especially after how 2023 ended. I got a call, a heart-wrenching one. My dad passed away.

Everyone was preparing to round off the year as usual, but...

Takes a moment to say a prayer.

I wasn’t fully conscious or intentional about living until October. As the year was coming to an end, it hit me—damn, I’ll be clocking another age in December.

And as the overly ambitious girl I am, I got scared. I was terrified of not achieving anything. I started making ridiculous goals that led me nowhere. It felt like a trampoline—my hopes soared high, only to be bounced back to negative one.

2024 in Some Headlines:

On Friendships

I realized in December that I had given up on friendships or maybe I wasn’t as intentional as I used to be. I was just trying to live life without putting labels on anything, just vibes. But guess what? One of my friends made me cry—good tears.

She greeted me on my birthday with loads of prayer, and I realized how much love she has for me. That moment made me see I had to put more effort into our friendship. After all, if I don’t, where would I find a bridesmaid?

I mourned friendships this year. Honestly, I’ll just term it as growing apart—no hard feelings. My phone often reminds me of the bond we shared, and I never expected we’d turn into strangers or status viewers.

But life isn’t full of surprises anymore, is it? I used the time to reflect on myself—maybe I was the bad person. Who knows?

And least I forget, I met Maryam. Oh, Maryam—she’s an exception. She’s become a highlight of 2024. She's the sweetest person ever, and sometimes I wonder how someone can have so much love to offer. We haven’t met in person yet, but I wish to meet her soon.

On Money

I don’t think I should even be writing about this. My financial life has been overly dependent. Last year (it feels crazy to say that), I thought about changing it to just “dependent.” I thought of starting a business, but I didn’t. It’s not because of fear, nope. In fact, I think I’d do pretty well.

But I don’t know what to venture into, and physical trading has never been my thing. But it doesn’t matter, right? As long as it brings money, passion’s gasping for air.

On Wins

Omo, I won by witnessing another year(Make nobody pressure me.)

On Mental Health

Whew. You know those physics practicals where you swing a pendulum and it displaces? That was my mental health. One moment I’m fine, the next minute I’m not.

My friends say I have mood swings. I had panic attacks, anxiety, and a lot of self-doubt. I saw myself as an underachiever—like I had all this potential and was just letting it slip away. I procrastinated a lot, didn’t get things done.

I leaned back into listening to NF, cried a lot, was scared, and even anxious about picking up phone calls. My friends were there for me though—I’d call them and talk and talk. It made me feel better, but still, it was like a pendulum swinging.

On Love

I read love in novels, but we’ll go harder next year. Just kidding. They say love finds you when you’re not looking, so yeah, I’m not looking. I can't see, I’m blind... blind... blind.

On Pain

We all feel pain, misery, and unhappiness. The real question is, how do we face it? The Yoruba people would say, "Eyan lo mo ebiti bata tin ta?"—"It’s the individual who wears the shoes that knows where it's hurt.

Some days, I feel the pain in my legs. They feel heavy from carrying me through days when I want to do absolutely nothing but lie in solitude.

Other days, it’s in my mouth. The pain of keeping words to myself instead of lashing out—raw and unfiltered. The lips sealed shut while someone stands miles away talking trash.

Sometimes, it’s the pain of smiling to their faces when all I want to do is punch them. It’s the pain of behaving like I don’t know the evil they’ve done, pretending to be unaware. Drop the hypocrisy, I say nothing.

Sometimes, it’s my head—overthinking, creating scenarios from its creative prowess, blaming myself, wishing I had been a better person. Facing patients in the ward, caring for them while sometimes avoiding my own reality, distracting myself.

On Self

I became more open to myself. I was honest with me. I came out... held myself in a hug and accepted that I had deserted her for the longest time. I worked on controlling my thoughts, doing things that made her happy. She’s in a better place mentally, hoping to reach her best. I hate mental health classes—they remind me of excuses to fit in a box. I need to travel the world( just a random realization)

On Rejection

I didn’t put myself out there enough or at all, so I can’t remember any rejections.

On Forgiveness

I realized I do forgive and forget. There was a time I swore never to speak to someone again, but here we are—we talk, we’re friends. Unbelievable! If you saw how angry I was that day, you’d think I’d hiss if I ever saw them again. That was just a waste of energy. Anyone who saw me would’ve thought I was all talk and no action. Ewoo, public disgrace! Anyway, always be alert—don’t let the biting dog bite you twice.

On Lessons

I learned a lot this year. One quote that stuck with me: "Just because they’re blood doesn’t mean they are family." People who show you shege, whether family or not. And again, don’t be too nice, or the world will take you for granted. "Do me, I do you; man no go vex." Sometimes, it’s okay to give back what you’ve received. Hurt them the way they hurt you—or not. The ball is in your court.

I was introduced to a course where I read Boron Letters. It was a good read and a good push. While reading the book, I went for a morning walk (lazy as I am). I started exercising but stopped. Consistency is yelling.

Don’t ever appear weak—go build muscles (yes, I said it).

Well, I’ve learned a lot. Don’t let me bore you with more, everyone knows what works for them.

I made a vision board and a list of goals for the first time, and I have a lot of conviction in it. I hope my lazy self doesn’t get the best of me. Posting more on Substack and filling more spaces for writing are some things I want to achieve. I heard some people’s work gets rejected. If that happens, I’ll happily let you know. Let’s see where rejection leads me.

This year, I’ll be writing to the nursing council to become a Registered Nurse. So, if you don’t see me here as much, I’ll be focused on that. I also want to do more spoken word this year.

Cheers to filling more spaces, ticking more boxes, and sharing works we’re too scared to share—the ones that have been rotting in our bagpacks.

I need to start making digital memories because I’ve cracked my head trying to remember all this. I’m sure I’ve forgotten some highlights (cries in old age).

Do you have a bucket list? What is the craziest thing on your bucket list?